Will you be my Valentine…Please?

By Majed Iqbal- It’s that time of the year again when the Majnu’s of this world- yes that Aashiq crowd whose diet consists of a Bollywood movie a night come out and confess their love to ‘the one’.

Yes, were talking about Valentines Day when romance is in the air and a day on which postal services are jammed with delivering cards and letters, or playing the role of a ‘cupid’, forwarding messages of ‘true love’.

Youngsters will be making Valentine’s cards, and many would be collecting money from their pocket money to buy gifts for their so called loved one. And there is that air of anticipation and anxiousness of receiving an anonymous card from a secret admirer!

At schools, colleges and Unis people boast about the number of admirers they have. It’s all about the ratings game! So the more you have the bigger the player the lad is or the more ‘pulling power’ that girl has. Others will be hiding their faces with utter humiliation in the realisation that nobody showed any romantic interest in them., again!

So what’s the harm in all this some may ask? After all, is it not a day for girls and guys to indulge in a bit of fun, excitement and harmless love?

Valentine’s Day is not simply about showing your affection to your partner or spouse, but it is in fact a day to remove all inhibitions and show your feelings to the person you secretly desire, a colleague, classmate, next door neighbour, relative etc, but someone to whom on any other day of the year it would not be easy to approach.

The modern day ritual of Valentine’s Day has developed into something quite different from the intentions of Valentine. Indeed, it is ironic to think that what the Church tried to achieve so long ago was the preservation of the institution of marriage, in the guise of St Valentine’s Day.

The reality of Valentine’s Day and what is associated with it is quite different; the return of promiscuity to society, relationships built upon and that result in sleeping around, unwanted pregnancies, back street abortions and the growing phenomenon of ‘date rape’ which both guys and girls are victims of.

On Valentine’s Day Student Unions at university have been known to will  issue free condoms, college bars will be subsidising exotic cocktails, and drug-pushers will be stocking up on the latest line of ‘date rape’ pills.  Sadly, the corruption that ensues from this celebration of immorality affects all levels of society. Far from being a harmless activity, Valentine’s Day is seen as big business (despite the credit crunch faced!)

The relationships developed from such ventures seem therefore to last only for mutual benefit and a bit of pleasure, rather than any serious adventure to bind two people together to lead life honourably.

When Muslims are encouraged to engage in Valentine’s Day they are being asked to discard the Islamic morals, standards of behaviour, respect and dignity that is commanded from men and women.

Islamically, a relationship between a man and woman is governed under the noble ties of marriage and not through girlfriend boyfriend relationships or ‘quick fixes’ for momentarily pleasure. Marriage is based on companionship in Islam and not on competition on who can get the most girls and guys under their belt.

Hence, Muslims should not feel guilty or pressured in this climate. Rather they should present the true facts and consequences, the heart aches and in some cases ruining of lives that such days may bring with them. Debates and discussions should be opened on ‘Relationships’ highlighting how Freedom and liberal values breed irresponsibility in relationships and highlighting how Islam is the guarantor for harmony and comfort in its institution of marriage.

Muslims should behave in accordance to the rules of Islam when engaging with the opposite sex and stand firm in defending the Islamic social ideals rather than feeling ashamed about them.

Abdullah ibn Umar said, ‘The Prophet (saw) came to us and said, ‘Oh Muhajireen, you may be afflicted by five things; God forbid that you should live to see them. If fornication should become widespread, you should realise that this has never happened without new diseases befalling the people which their forbears never suffered. If people should begin to cheat in weighing out goods, you should realise that this has never happened without drought and famine befalling the people, and their rulers oppressing them. If people should withhold zakat, you should realise that this has never happened without the rain being stopped from falling; and were it not for the animals’ sake, it would never rain again. If people should break their covenant with Allah and His messenger, you should realise that it has never happened without Allah sending an enemy against them to take some of their possessions by force. If the leaders do not govern according to the Book of Allah, you should realise that this has never happened without Allah making them into groups and making them fight one another’ [Ibn Majah].

Comments

  1. fehmeena says:

    a nice read mashaAllah, used to feel there is no harm celebrating this day but had never looked at it like this, it might truly creat social problems, jealousies heartaches and inferiority complex in ppl. JazakAllah :)

  2. muslim brothers n sisters are so confused in this day n age, more than ever befor, may allah swt guide them, may everyone who reads this stops a romeo or juliet and advice them on what islam says of their conduct. jazak allah kheir

  3. The Infamous says:

    A nice read. But the hadith at the end of the article is truly amazing…

  4. Mohammed Ansar says:

    hahaha seriously??? that has got to be the worst article i ever read…

    “And there is that air of anticipation and anxiousness of receiving an anonymous card from a secret admirer!” – how would you know?? have you felt it??

    “At schools, colleges and Unis people boast about the number of admirers they have. It’s all about the ratings game!” – how would you know?? how long has it been since u were at school??

    “Others will be hiding their faces with humiliation in the realisation that nobody showed any romantic interest in them.” how would you know?? you cant generalise – has it happened to you??

    “The reality of Valentine’s Day and what is associated with it is quite different; the return of promiscuity to society, relationships built upon and that result in sleeping around, unwanted pregnancies, back street abortions and the growing phenomenon of ‘date rape’ which both guys and girls are victims of” – is this what everyone does?? if not, how much of the population do it?? enough to generalise?? all these problems discussed here, are they made up by you or real problems were facing as a result of valentines day?? WHERE ARE THE STATS?? lazy journalism…

    “On Valentine’s Day Student Unions at university will be issuing free condoms, college bars will be subsidising exotic cocktails, and drug-pushers will be stocking up on the latest line of ‘date rape’ pills.” – again, how would you know?? have you been to bars to know drinks are cheaper?? when was the last time u went to an SU?? they hand out free condoms all year round…have you spoke to drug dealers who are pushing the date rape drug?? did they tell u that?? no statistics once again…

    “Sadly, the corruption that ensues from this celebration of immorality affects all levels of society.” – how?? ur just going to leave it at that?? do we not get a better explanation of how all levels of society have been affected or should we just take your word for it??

    “The relationships developed from such ventures seem therefore to last only for mutual benefit and a bit of pleasure, rather than any serious adventure to bind two people together to lead life honourably.” – how would you know this?? are we talking about all mankind or just muslims here?? any stats?? perhaps a case study?? interview?? nothing – so i guess this is just your opinion once again…

    “they should present the true facts and consequences, the heart aches and in some cases ruining of lives that such days may bring with them. Debates and discussions should be opened on ‘Relationships’ highlighting how Freedom and liberal values breed irresponsibility in relationships” – how?? where can these debates be held?? where can we get the information from?? who should we present the facts to?? which facts?? you havent shown us any…

    Brother, i respect what your trying to do but i have to say that your article left me more confused than anything…if you truly want to get through to today’s youth then you need to know how to connect with them, how to relate to them…giving your opinion and quoting a hadith is not connecting with them. Speak to them on “their level”, give them facts, give them statistics, give them case studies etc, the youth are not stupid, they all have enquiring minds. Educate them, interact with them, see if they understand. Giving your opinion then just quoting a hadith is lazy, if you truly want to help/guide/advise people then try a new approach. Just my humble opinion, Jazak Allah.

    • majedsblog says:

      Mohammad, in response to you recurring question “How would you know” in your comment, all i will say is “welcome to planet Earth”-

      How long are you planning of staying here and when are you going back to Mars?? Inshallah i’l come one day to visit you there. May God Bless You immensely my Brother

      Majed

      PS:

  5. The Infamous says:

    Mohammad Ansar said ‘If you truly want to get through to today’s youth then you need to know how to connect with them, how to relate to them…giving your opinion and quoting a hadith is not connecting with them. Speak to them on “their level”, give them facts, give them statistics, give them case studies etc..”

    Give them stats!
    Give them Case Studies!!!

    Hows that going to connect with the youth!!

    Lets see you giving stats and case studies in Deeplish lol

    PS a blog is for individual opinions….

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